Dating Someone With a Special Needs Child
If you are in your 30’s or 40’s and you are dating chances are a lot of the people that you are going to date have kids. If you start off dating someone and you know they have kids but then you learn that their child has special needs you may be worried if you can handle the situation. Before you run off, you need to learn a bit more about the person that you are dating.
The first thing you need to think about before you run off is whether or not you see a future with this person. If the person that you have been dating is just a lot of fun to hang out with but you really don’t see anything long term you may not want to stick around but if you see something developing between the two of you, you may want to get to know them a bit better and also learn more about their child.
It can be intimidating when you find out that someone that you are dating has a disabled child or a child with special needs, but it doesn’t need to have you running for the hills. Instead of getting scared and taking off, stop and take a breath. Let the person that you are dating know that you feel a little bit intimidated and ask them to learn more about their child and what sort of special needs they have.
When you talk to the person they may be able to help you understand what their life is like and what the life of their child is like. Ask them if they really think they have the time that it will take to nurture your relationship. It’s not that you want them to choose you over their child, but you do want them to be sure that they can make time for you.
You will definitely want to talk to your spouse and just get a feel for what their life is like and what part you can take in it. When you talk to them you can also get a feel for how comfortable you will be with them and the care that they have to tend to their child. Some people are comfortable with those who have special needs and some aren’t, you have to decide how comfortable you are going to be with the situation.
You may find when you talk to the person that you have been dating about their child that you like them more. You may be totally out of your comfort zone in dating someone who has a child that has special needs but you may find that the person is so much more compassionate, understanding, and non judgmental than anyone that you have ever met. You may find that you have a new found respect and interest in them.
While dating someone who has a child with special needs will be different than any other dating experience that you have had, it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Just feel it out for yourself and see how it goes. You may find that you come to love both the person and their special needs child.
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